Missing You
by dot823
Summary: Bella got over Edward when he left. She became friends with then fell in love with Jacob, then marrying him and having a child. When Jacob imprints on their baby, her whole life will change, causing her to rethink everything since she turned eighteen.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n I got this idea from the song Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne. I changed the story around from my original draft though, just to tell you. BLEEP BLEEP!!THIS IS NOT A ONESHOT! STORY ALERT IT IF YOU LIKE IT!!! (and favorite, so on...)**

**Disclaimer: I am not the owner of anything here...except maybe one or two things, but those things don't even have names.(aka, Bella's motel)  
**

Missing You.

"_No." Edward said._

I woke up from that nightmare—the same one I've had since Jacob.

I had been without Edward for a while, but when I started to chat with Jacob, and actually became his best friend, and he mine, the pain started to subside. I started to live again.

A year passed, Jacob hurt me, but I found out that the only reason was simple. He was a werewolf, and was told not to tell me, but he found his way around it, and we were together again. At one point, Victoria had come, and as we hid and he fought, leaving me with Seth—Harry Clearwater's son—to protect me, I realized I missed him.

When he came back, he still hurt, emotionally, at my not loving him. My friendship with him was awkward, and I kissed him. As we kissed, I found out I did, in fact, love him. Not as I had loved Edward, but I still loved him.

As Edward still didn't come back, I stayed in love with Jacob. I thought I'd never fall out of love. We married, I got pregnant, and I gave birth a year ago.

**_One year ago:_**

I was out of the hospital with my daughter, Renesmee. A mix of my mothers name and Esme. I didn't hate the Cullens, I couldn't hate them. I got over Edward, and if they came back right now, I'd still want to be best friends with Alice, and close to everyone, just not Edward's love.

Esme was still like a mother to me, and I had a right to name my baby whatever I wanted, after a vampire—or a bloodsucker, as Jacob said—or after Mike Newton, if I really wanted to. If I had had a boy, maybe it would have been some mix of Billy, Charlie, and Carlisle. Renesmee's middle name was Carly, after my father and Carlisle.

Jacob was out, when I gave birth, as a wolf, though I told the doctors that where he went to work he couldn't have his phone. I called Billy instead and told him to have Jacob wait at home when he got there. We had moved to a slightly bigger house, but only with three rooms—one for Billy, one for our baby, and one for us.

Now, I stepped out of Seth's—the one who had picked me up—car. I opened the back seat and unbuckled the baby seat, switching little Renesmee to my arms. As he opened the door, he kissed me without looking at Renesmee.

"Jacob, the baby," I told him, and he looked down.

Instantly, his big smile disappeared into a shocked face. He stared at Renesmee. Seth walked in, and when he saw what Jacob was doing, spoke.

"Crap!" he said. Jacob looked up, having heard his voice, and looked at me.

There was sadness in his eyes, and regret. No love. They weren't like Edwards eyes when he had left me—cold, hard, uncaring, and frozen topaz—they were regretful and sad.

"Bella," he said.

"Wait, and have her sit," Seth said, coursing me to our small living-room, and setting me on the couch, then trying to take Renesmee away.

"No, I can hold her," I snapped, too harshly. He just frowned and sat next to me. Jacob stood across from us, and paced.

"Bella," he repeated, "Oh, Bella. I-I don't know how to say this."

"What?" I asked.

"I imprinted."

I was in shock. He had imprinted, in the middle of the forest, while I gave birth to his child? No, that's not right, he had kissed me when I came in, then when he looked at Renesmee…

"Oh, oh no, is that even possible?" I barely got out, "you imprinted on your own child? On my child? No, no…"

"Yes," Seth said, taking Renesmee from me now.

I looked over, and saw why he had taken her from me. Her blanket had the imprints of my fingers on it. I had almost squeezed my own child to death.

"It's true, and I can't help it. I wouldn't tell you, but you'd know. And I don't want to lie to you," he said.

"I have to leave."

"No, you don't, you just have to know, I imprinted on her," he said, "I don't even know her name."

"Renesmee," I told him, walking upstairs with a blank face, to pack my things.

"Oh," Jacob said, staring at her again, then realized I was walking upstairs, "I told you Bella, you don't have to go!"

"Yes, I do," I told him, "I'm not going to watch that."

"But Renesmee needs her mother!" He whined.

"Not when the mother isn't her fathers true love. Not when the mother isn't even the fathers any kind love. You have to keep her, anyway," I told him.

"Why?"

"Because, Jacob," I said, as I packed, "You imprinted on her."

"So?" He whined. He grabbed my arm as I started downstairs with two over-flowing bags. I had everything of mine. "Why do I have to choose?"

I ignored him. I needed to get out of here, I love my baby, but I can't stay here and pretend to love him.

"Just let me go," I said, shaking off his arm, though I didn't need to. He had already loosened his grip, and let go when I asked.

"Bella!" He said, once more, as I left the house, tears down my cheek, and made it to my old Chevy truck.

_**363 days ago:**_

I miss Renesmee and I miss being in love with Jacob. But I can't go back, not after how I left. I asked Angela if I could stay with her, explaining that Jacob and I had had a fight and Charlie wouldn't understand, and would want me to go back and make up with him. She was perfectly okay with it, and so were the twins and her parents. I'm staying in her room until I gather money to get a cheap apartment.

Ben was over, and watching he and Angela together hurt, I could tell he loved her, and she loved him. It only made me miss Jacob and Edward—who I hadn't even realized I missed until I left Jacob—even more.

"Bella, are you ok? You looked kind of out of it," Angela said, truly caring.

I appreciated her, the only true friend I had left. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm going to go to bed early though, I'll see you later."

She said good night and got back to the movie we were watching—the one I didn't even realize was still on. I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight anyway, I just wanted to be alone when I started crying and started falling apart.

Like it was on a timer, it hit me hard when I got into my room-temperature bed. Not cold, no Edward, not warm, no Jacob. No one, not even Mike Newton. I started to fall apart, to feel the hole in my chest from before I had gotten over Edward and when I didn't have Jacob, as it grew from a little speck to a black hole. I wrapped my arms around me, hugging myself, in a last try to keep myself together. No matter how tightly I held myself, I fell apart, I was a bunch of pieces laying on a mattress on the floor of Angela's room.

I knew I was crying, I felt warm, salty, tears fall out of my eyes and tried to blink the rest back. Again it didn't work. Nothing I seemed to do was right. I had done something to make Edward left me, then I had been the cause for vampires coming back and Jacob being turned into a werewolf. Then I fell in love with him, and had the baby, only to have him imprint on it. Then I left my baby.

Nothing I did was right. Not since I turned 18. Or maybe when I turned 17? Was moving to Forks a mistake? Maybe. But Maybe not. I had come to Angela, made new friends, found Edward and fallen in love, even if it didn't work, I had found Jacob too. It wasn't all horrible. Plus, my mom's in Jacksonville, happy with Phil.

Maybe I should go move in with her?

_**11 months ago:  
**_

I finally got myself to go back to see Renesmee, and she's happy. She's learning quickly. She cried when I held her, why did I have to leave her? Now she doesn't even recognize me! Oh, she has Charlie's eyes, my eyes, and as I stare into her eyes, it reminds me of when I look at myself in the mirror. Big, brown, confused, not knowing who I am.

Who am I?

I earned the money for a month at a cheap motel, and decided to move there as I earned more. I only get cheap food, and I only get what I need. I have a mattress as a bed in the room, I don't have a TV, or anything else much. I work two jobs and get too little sleep, but at least I'm not bothering Angela's family anymore.

She had said I should have stayed longer, just until I had two months pay, but I told her no, that I'd be fine there. She still insisted that if I needed somewhere to stay again, her house was open. I'd try to avoid that, but I didn't tell her that.

I cry myself to sleep and wake up with red eyes and wet pillows, sheets knocked all over the place. I guess that's something normal for when you have this type of thing. I mean, the ability to ruin your life in so many ways.

Yup, that's me. I ruin my life just by breathing. Each day gets harder, I fall apart more and more. I feel like crumbs, I feel like I got sucked into a black hole. I wish for nothingness, like I had after Edward left, but it won't come.

I miss that zombie-like state, but I don't know how to induce it. Only Edward can do that, it seems, since not even Jacob could make me feel like that. I was starting to doubt that I actually got over him. I think that I may have just buried the hurt, and all that pain, under my love for Jacob. Oh, I still love Edward, I still love Jacob, and I still love my baby, but I can't have any of them.

What will she say, when she has to explain to her friends why she never met her mommy? 'my mommy left the day I was born and only came back once?' I don't want her to think that…when she's older, and will understand, I'll go back. She'll know why, I'll tell her sorry, and maybe she'll be ok with it, and still love me!

Oh, I hope so! What if she doesn't though? What if she hates me and never wants to talk to me again? No, that can't happen! It just can't!

_**10 months ago:**_

I don't know why I keep hoping that Edward lied, and that he did love me, and would come back. He hasn't yet. I'm still here, a boring human. I won't go to Mike Newton, I won't go to Tyler Crowley, and I won't go to Eric Yorkie. I don't have anyone to love, not a single person in this world would love me like I love Edward, and love Jacob, no matter how much I wish I didn't love Jacob.

Where are you, Edward? I asked into the night one day. I got no answer, not a rustle in the leaves. Nothing had changed, I still can't have Edward, can't have Jacob, and won't have anyone else.

I tried to say sorry to Jacob, and tell him I wanted to come back, that being here with him and Renesmee would be better, but he just kept interrupting me, telling me that it's okay, and I don't have to make it up to him. I gave up on trying after a while. Maybe next time I should try more?

**_4 months ago:_**

I tried visiting Renesmee again, and she was more happy to see me this time. According to Jacob, she loved people. I was happy that she was gaining a personality, and I was happy that I was one of the people she loved. She didn't call me mommy, as she could talk now and called Jacob daddy. I tried to tell her I was her mommy, but she just shook her head.

"She doesn't know you as mommy yet. Bella, if you came here often enough, she could get to know you better and you could be mommy," Jacob told me then.

"Jacob, can't I just-" I tried to ask him if I could just move in with him. He interrupted me.

"Don't worry about that, Bella, I'm over it. Still sad that you were so angry, and still sad that my best friend doesn't live with me, but I'm over it for the most part."

He left then, needing to get food for Renesmee, which meant going to Emily's house. I wanted to cook her food, but he said that Emily had just called before I came saying that she had food for Renesmee. I wasn't angry with Emily, Jealous, yes, but not angry. She didn't know I was coming, she didn't know I wanted to cook for Renesmee, it wasn't her fault she had.

**_3 months ago: _**

My life still couldn't get worse. Renesmee likes me, but Jacob and the others...not so much. Jacob still calls me his best friend, but we both know that isn't true. Any hope of that vanished with me leaving. There were rumors around town that Jacob had a mistress, and that's why I left. I feel horrible for causing those rumors, but I can't go back.

I started calling out for Edward every night, still no answer. I want him, I need him, and he still isn't here.

Renesmee started calling me mommy, I'm ecstatic to say. I started crying the first time she did, and she said 'don't cry, mommy!' Oh, she does love me! I can't believe she loves me! But then, the next time I came, she called Emily-who was there to visit-mommy as well. So, did she call everyone who had anything to do in her life mommy? That hurt.

_**1 month ago:**_

I'm at the end of my line.

Mike Newton came to visit me, hearing where I was from Ben, who had heard from Angela, who hadn't known what gossips these boys could be. He wanted me to come live with him. He was single, and could use a friend living with him. I knew his real reason, of course, was that if I was close, maybe I'd fall in love with him. I denied him. The next day, Eric came, then Tyler a week later.

I went to Angela's house, and chatted for a bit. She explained that she was moving out soon, and to a place with Ben. She was excited, but also sad to leave her twin brothers.

When I left the house, I thought I saw a quick flash from a shine from down the street, one that none of the cars around her have had, since Edward left. I shrugged it off as a hallucination, caused from having a broken heart.

**_Today:_**

Renesmee is a year old today. I left her a gift, but didn't attend the party. I was unwanted, unneeded, and had hurt Jacob and Renesmee. The gift was a cheap locket I had found at Wal-mart, and had spent half of my extra money to get. Now I'm at home, yet again, crying at the window.

"Edward? where are you!" I called out into the day. Not a rustle of leaves, not a snapped twig answered me.

I'm tired, I'm done. I can't live with this any more. Why should I care about everyone else, when no one was there for me? No, Angela was there for me. She'd get over it if I was gone, though. She wouldn't care enough to be broken, as broken as I am now. It wouldn't matter to Renesmee, she wouldn't remember me. She'd grow up with all the other imprints, discluding Claire, as her mommies. Emily would be there to make her food until she learned, Kim to make sure she did well in school, and so on.

With this is mind, I climbed up the stairs. I left the door to my room unlocked, it didn't matter if someone took the little I had. I'd be dead before they got to the little that was there. The sun was shining. I thought I saw a sparkle, like a shiny car or diamonds, on the side of the forest I passed it off as another delusion. My building was 4 floors tall. I was on the roof.

I neared the edge, got on that little cliff, closed my eyes, and tilted myself forward, ever-so-slightly. Me, being as imbalanced and uncoordinated as possible, only needed that bit to fall down.

It worked, I felt wind rushing against my face, my clothes thrashing back, along with my rats-nest of long, dull, brown hair. It pulled at my cheeks, I could feel bugs hitting my body. It only lasted seconds before it stopped. All of a sudden, I was on the floor. I was dead. a white light started towards me. I wasn't scared, I was happy. I welcomed it, as it grew into a small meadow, identical to Edwards meadow.

There was a figure there, sparkling in the sun.

"No!" he said.

"Edward," I whispered back, and went to him, to hug him, "If this is heaven-the ability to hallucinate that you're here with me, then I'm happy that I left."

"No, no no!" he was panicking now.

"Calm down, Edward, It's okay, I'm fine," I tried to tell him.

"No! Carlisle!" he screamed.

I felt wind rushing me away, though I was completely still, and the meadow wasn't moving.

"Edward, she's dying," Carlisle's voice came from everywhere.

"No no no no..." Edward said, he was passed panic.

"Yes, Edward. She's dying. She'll die if you don't bite her in the next three seconds," Edwards voice came.

There was silence, as I thought. I was dead already, what were they talking about? I was happy to be here, in heaven, away from Jacob and the hurt I had put on myself and the pack, and not able to hope that Edward could come back, because I was already with him. I felt breathing on my neck, as though Edward was there, then pain.

Not a quick flash, but a long-lasting, or never-ending, fire. The meadow started to disintegrate, leaving behind fires. I kept my eyes closed, and screamed.

Why? Why was I in hell?! No, I knew why I was in hell. I did it to myself. Leaving Jacob was what caused me to end up here. But, why did they tease me? Why did they make Edward show up, and make me feel as though I was going to heaven? Oh, Satan, you are truly evil! Why?!

"Bella, Bella, you're okay," I heard as the fire spread.

It was Edward voice. "Cruel, cruel, Satan." I murmured. I wouldn't fall for that. I wouldn't open my eyes to see the fiery pits of hell all around me. No, no, no.

"Shh, Bella, you're not in hell," Edwards voice spoke again.

"Yes I am. I'm burning in hell. Why must I be delusional? I don't want to have the hope of seeing Edward again, when I'm dead and in hell."

"Bella, you aren't in hell! You're being changed into a vampire!" Carlisle said.

"Carlisle, I love you like a father," I said, pretending Satan, who was using the Cullens' voices, was actually them. "My baby's middle name is Carly."

"After he and Charlie?" asked Edwards voice.

"Yeah, and her first name is Renesmee," I said as the pain started to subside, or rather, go under my feelings. What? Was talking about my baby-who didn't actually love me-taking me out of hell?

"After me and your mother," Esme's voice whispered.

"Yes,"

"What about me?!" Emmett's voice said. It was a good impression, that Satan was doing. His Emmett sounded just like real Emmett, and acted like Emmett, from what I was hearing.

"Emmett," I said, laughing through the pain, "I loved you like a brother."

"But...don't you still love me?" he asked.

"I'm dead."

"Bella, you're not dead. You're feeling emotions. Sadness, love, happiness..." Jaspers voice said.

"You're a good impressionist, Satan," I told him.

"It's not Satan, it's Jasper," Satan said in Jaspers voice.

I didn't pay attention. My body felt as though I was being lifted out of hell.

"God?" I asked.

"No, Bella, you're finishing changing," Alice's voice said.

"God, don't do this. Satan did it. Unless I can see them when I'm in heaven, don't make me hear their voices," I told him, remembering to be respectful, "Please."

"She's delusional," Rosalie sighed sadly.

"No, I'm not. I'm going to heaven. Rosalie, even though you hated me, I hoped you'd get used to me," I told God, pretending as though he actually was Rosalie.

"She must be, Rosalie, this is the only time anyone has actually had a conversation as they changed," said Carlisle's voice.

"But I'm in heaven!" I said.

"No, Bella, you're not, open you're eyes," Edwards voice said.

I could feel my senses heightening as he said that, I felt a newly found strength and balance wiring through me. I listened to God.

**a/n holy poop...this is the longest thing I've ever written! I think I'm only going to make it a two-shot, just because. How did you guys like it? I know...weird...I still flinch when I think of Jacob and Bella...together together...you know, how they made Renesmee? lol...yeah...anyway, I don't know how long the next/last chapter will be...I really just thought of half of this on the spot...**


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n READ! This chapter starts a year after she's changed, and then will go back to the day and work up to then, like last chapter. This is the end, because it takes a while for me to write these over 8,500 words...**

Missing You

_**One year after change:**_

"Bella, I love you," Edward said.

We were at a school in a rainy town in Wisconsin, and Edward was going to his class, as I went to mine. We pretend that I'm only 14, because I haven't changed much in the last few years, and could go for a 14 year old who had developed a little early. In reality, I changed on my birthday, the year I turned 20.

I talk to Renesmee over the phone, whenever I can. She doesn't understand much, but she knows I'm her real mommy and that I love her, even though I left. Jacob is still mad at me, and hates that I'm a 'bloodsucker.' He doesn't trust me to see my child, but I don't blame him. I wouldn't trust him around Edward, since he still hates Edward.

Over the past year, since I was changed, many things have happened…

_**September 13**__**th**__**, exactly one year ago:**_

_I could feel my senses heightening as he said that, I felt a newly found strength and balance wiring through me. I listened to God._

I opened my eyes.

I wasn't in heaven, nor was I in hell. I was in the Cullen home, their dining room.

"Crap. I was changed," I said, shocked.

All the Cullens were there, all of them looked sad. What? Did I say something? Oh…yeah.

"I didn't mean that I didn't want to be changed, I just didn't believe it…" I explained, or tried to.

"You _should _be mad, Bella! You're a vampire, a monster!" Rosalie whined.

"So are you, Rosalie," Edward pointed out.

"No, I'm a human…duh I'm a vampire! But…she should be sad to be a vampire! She should be angry!" Rosalie said.

"I don't care. I finally have Edward back," I told her.

She stayed silent the rest of the time, an angry and sad look on her face.

"Bella, I'm so glad I have you back…we were all just about to have people know we came back, because I was hoping you'd find out we were back and come back to Edward or at least be my best friend again!" Alice started, "For the past few years, your life has gone in and out of focus, sometimes totally disappearing…I didn't even know you had a kid until everyone else told me!"

"Alice! Calm down!" Edward said, as she was jumping and just hugged me tightly.

"Butthead…" she said, pouting.

That got anything from a small smile to a booming laugh from everyone but Rosalie, who still held her sad face, still as a statue.

"Bella, can you explain a few things to me?" Edward asked then, "Like...why you did everything you did? And why you've been so sad?"

"Let her get used to this first, and hunt, Edward. Don't be TOO selfish," Emmett said, knowing Edward thought he was as selfish as a devil.

"Stop making Edward be a masochist, Emmett," I told him, getting a few small smiles, "But Emmett's right, Edward."

He frowned, but took my hand in his, which no longer felt at all cold to me, but normal. He walked me to the back door, and when we reached it, opened it. We ran out, and I almost immediately smelled a deer, and went after it. He taught me how to hunt, though he only needed to barely do it.

_**A week later:**_

I have hunted a lot lately, they took me somewhere with grizzlies, and somewhere with lions, when we found out that I liked lions. I don't have a power, but Edward still can't read my mind, and I seem to be more resistant to human blood. My senses are amazing, I love smelling the morning air, which for the most part smells of blooming wild flowers, and their pollen, the scent of trees, and of dew.

The air of an afternoon smells a bit like gasoline from the cars, mixed with the constant scent of rain that lasts even when it isn't raining, in Washington, and grass clippings. The night sounds are bigger, the firefly lights brighter. I can see further now than I ever could before, seeing the lights of lamps from across the way. The night sky is more beautiful that ever imaginable, now that I can see all the stars, closer than ever, and things human eyes aren't supposed to be able to see.

The sun is brighter, and would burn my eyes, if that was possible, but it doesn't, nothing burns, since the last great pain I suffered from changing.

Edward hasn't bothered me for reasons since the day I changed, and they had set up a way to make it look as though I had succeeded in committing suicide, throwing my beloved truck into a ditch, covering it in gasoline, and lighting it on fire in an abandoned street far from any trees. By the time anyone realized that it was my car and that I was dead, I had already finished changing.

Charlie, Renee, and even Phil were all sad that I was gone, and I was just as or even more devastated to have caused them that pain. It hurt to just think about it.

Sitting in the room I share with Edward, I started reading my copy of Withering Heights. Edward was out hunting, but I wanted to relax, so I stayed home. That was stupid of me. Relaxing, as a vampire with super speed who can finish anything really quickly, anything I wanted to do is already complete and now I'm sitting here bored out of my mind.

I was surprised when the door opened and Edward walked in.

"Aren't you supposed to be out hunting?" I asked him.

"I finished early," He said with a big, lovely, still dazzling, crooked smile.

I smiled back, and put down my book as he walked over. When he sat down, I moved toward him, and we started to cuddle. We were like that for a while before either of us spoke.

"Bella, you never told me why," he said, voice sad, and as I looked up I saw the smile had been whiped from his face, replaced with a worried expression.

"Hm?" I asked, trying to gain some time to decide what I would tell him.

"You know why, Bella. You jumped off the top of your building."

"How did you know it was my building?" I asked, to try to change the topic.

He made a 'that's not important, just answer my question,' face. I sighed.

"Too many bad things, too little good," I frowned, "You left me, I was in pain until I was able to be with Jacob, then I was in pain again, and then I was better...I thought I was in love. No, I was in love, but we both fell out of love when Renesmee was born and when Jacob saw her. I left them there, and came back a month later, and Renesmee didn't even know who I was!! It hurts, when you don't have anyone to love, but know that three people are out there."

"Three?" Edward asked. I realized that he must have thought I meant another boy.

"More like..." I pulled out my hands and started ticking off fingers, "Twelve."

His eyes widened, and he looked as though he would gasp. I laughed at his face, full of jealousy, surprise, and anger.

"Jacob, You, Renesmee, Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Charlie, Renee, and Phil."

He let out a breath and smiled, kissing me.

"Bella, I hope...you know that I never meant to hurt you, right?" He asked as Alice knocked on the door.

She opened it without waiting for me to let her in.

"C'mon! It's gonna storm in a bit, we can play ball!!" She didn't let us decide, she just grabbed Edwards' arm, threw him out, and sat down next to me, after locking the door.

"Bella, you know, I love you, you're my sister," Alice said, worry and hope in her eyes.

"Alice, I'm happy now. I know you love me and did love me...I just didn't know it then, exactly..." I frowned, but Alice's mood changed quickly to her average, overly hyper, mood.

She forced me into a 'cute' and soon-to-be-ruined baseball outfit, and when we came downstairs, everyone else was in other matching Cullen baseball uniforms. They all had their own twists, of course, but all had the same colors, too.

We ran to the baseball field, which was actually an empty field next to a cemetery that was deserted by humans. Rosalie is batting first, but until then, she and Emmett are practicing, and Jasper and Alice are playing catch with a tree.

When Alice started having a vision, and a smile came on her face, I remembered the first time I saw them play, and new it was time. Thunder would be coming.

"It's time," she said, cementing my thoughts.

Quickly, in a blur, Edward went behind the batting spot, Alice in the pitcher mound, waiting for the perfect time, Carlisle and Emmett got ready to bat, and Esme went to referee.

"Oh! Bella, The teams are Carlisle, Edward, and Em against Rosalie and Jazz. You're on Jazz and Rose's team," Alice remembered to tell me.

I thanked her and ran to where Rosalie and Jasper were.

"You go to second base, I'll be there, Jazz, you go there," Rose pointed out where she and Jazz were supposed to be before they split up, one to one side of the outfeild, the other to the opposite side.

I ran to second base as she said to do. Carlisle picked up a metal bat, and got ready to bat, as Alice got ready to pitch. As lightning struck a long way away, she gracefully spun her arm and let the ball go at just the right time. It flew at what seemed like super-speed toward the bat, and crashed against it just as some thunder rolled in the cloudy, monstrous, sky above.

It flew out, across the field, way over my head, toward the trees, I ran through them, keeping my eyes on the ball. The ball continued, but it went faster than I could go, ahead of me, and dropped on the ground. I flashed toward it then ran back to the field, finding Edward smiling crookedly and happily, having already made it through the bases. I scowled, and threw the ball back to the waiting Alice.

The game continued, sometimes I stopped homeruns, other times Rose and Jazz did, or the others would get a homerun. Then came our turn to bat, and I went first.

I held the bat, surprisingly not awkward, unlike it would have been if I'd been human. Alice pitched and, yet again surprisingly, the bat crashed with the ball and the ball went flying. I threw the bat on the ground, softly, and ran to first base as I watched Edward run and get it. When he came out, he was smiling.

"Out!" Esme called.

I glared playfully at my love and sauntered up to him, no longer shy, being with only my family.

When I reached him, I could see that my hipswaying and try at looking seductive had worked.

"I'll get you, sooner or later, Mister Cullen," I said, as I ran a finger seductivly down his cheekbone.

He looked hungry, but obviously not in the bloodthirsty way.

"Dude! Edward! We're all here! And I thought you were gonna stay a vergin 'til you got married!" Emmett yelled embarrassingly at us.

"Shut up!" I yelled back, but as he smiled, thinking I was going to kiss him, I pulled away my hand, and turned away, running away from him and back towards Jazz and Rose.

When I glanced back, I saw him looking dumbstruck. I had dazzled the dazzler. Hah!

**_3 months after change:_**

The smell of dogs, but worse, started drifting toward the house as Edward and I kissed in his, I mean, our, room.

He paused, then spoke, "Fuck!", before pulling me downstairs.

"What are we going to say?" The worried Rosalie said.

"What happened. Exactly what happened. But add that I begged to be changed," I told them my idea.

"Will the accept that though?" Carlisle asked.

"Damn their being hidden from my senses! No fair!" Alice mumbled.

"No time for whining," Emmett said, all serious, "I say we attack first."

"No! We don't even know why they're here!" Carlisle replied to Emmett's idea.

"Let's just do as Bella had suggested," Esme started softly, "I think they'd accept that."

"I want to go meet them outside first," I said.

"No! You can't do that! They may not even listen!" Edward exclaimed.

"Go out with her then, Edward, but I think she should go," Emmett backed me up.

Edward didn't hesitate to run out the front door with me. Up front, many angry, bear-sized, wolves growled at us.

"Stop! We have an explanation!" Edward said, just as one got ready to pounce.

A few were bigger than others, one black, one brown, a russet one, and a gray one, mixed in with other mostly-natural colors.

I recognized Jake immediately.

"Jacob! Look, it had to happen! For one thing, I wanted it to happen, for another I was gonna die!" I explained.

"Sam says that's not a good enough reason," Edward filled me in with the alpha's feelings.

"Look, I was going to kill myself, they saved me! And it wasn't even a Cullen who changed me!" I changed the plan slightly. I could see confusion on the wolves faces, and knew that the Cullens would want an explanation later.

"He wants to know who could have done it."

"You must have missed her smell! An old friend of theirs had just stopped by. She was there when Edward brought me in, almost dead. She bit me, but as soon as she heard about you guys, she ran. I could hear it all!"

Sam became defensive. I worried, would my idea fail? Would they find me out?

"He says they never miss a scent."

"There's always time for a first though!" I said, hoping that'd convince them, "Plus they never went even near your side of the border! They were like, way out here!"

Sam and the others back off slightly.

"Sam says he believes you, and that we haven't broken the treaty by letting you stay with us. They'll leave. But Jacob is angry."

I knew that, of course. Jacob's wolf form was growling at me still, held back by probably just an order from Sam.

"I'm sorry Jacob. I truly am. But I couldn't handle losing everyone. Then Edward showed up, but it was too late...he was just saving me," I tried to make him understand.

He sat up and whimpered sadly.

"He says you still had him."

"But you don't get it. All those times you stopped me, half of them I was trying to ask if I could come back. You don't understand it. Nessie called everyone 'mommy' and at first didn't know me, I woudln't go to my parents, and the Cullens were gone. I had no one," I begged him to understand this time.

His head lowered, "He didn't know, he's sorry," Edward spoke for him. He looked me straight in the eyes with his now stubborn black dog-like eyes. "He says he doesn't want you around Renesme though. He thinks you'll kill her."

"You know I wouldn't, but if that's what it takes to make you forgive me, alright. But, Jacob, I still want to talk to her. She's my daughter. I have the right to talk to her at least on the phone!"

Jacob nodded.

"He gave me his phone number. He says you can call some time tomorrow. Sam thinks he's being an idiot."

"I really am sorry," I whispered one last time.

I saw a small muscle twitch on Edwards face as the wolves turned and left in unison.

"What?" I asked, once they must have been out of hearing range.

"one called Seth doesn't hate vampires. He said 'I don't get what the big deal is...these vampires don't kill humans, and I don't think Bella will, so why do we have to hate them?' and the female said 'shut up Seth!'"

I laughed lightly. That sounded like the Clearwaters'. I was afraid of Sue and Leah as a human, and nothing has changed. Seth had always been nice to me, such a huge contrast from the other two living members of his family. I remembered the day Harry died...it was horrible...especially when you knew the reason why and couldn't tell your own greiving dad why Harry had died.

Being able to talk to Renesmee was a plus, now...but I can't believe Jacob actually said okay to that. Though I was hoping for more, I didn't expect to even be allowed to know a thing about her. I'll live with being able to talk to her, even if she is just an infant. She'll grow up, and sooner or later she'll even pass me in physical age. She must understand at some point then.

_**3 months and one day after change:**_

I couldn't wait any longer to call Renesmee, I needed to talk to her, make sure she still knew who I was. The phone was in my hand, completely still, as I froze, wondering if I really should call. Should I? What if Leah or one of the other imprints answers? What if anyone but Seth, Jacob, and Renesmee answer? That'd be horrible for me. I can't talk to one of them. They hate me.

Finally though, I forced myself into it. I needed to do this. I dialed the number Edward had happily given me quickly, and called the daughter that I'll never be allowed to get close to.

The ringing echoed in my ear as I waited for it to stop, and when it did, I wished I hadn't called, for the second before I knew who the speaker was.

"Hello?" He said.

"Seth!" I got over-happy at the fact that he was the one who reached the phone and answered.

"Bella! Hey!" He said, laughing slightly.

"Edward told me what you thought about...not caring that we're vampires and all," I told him thankfully.

"Yeah, that. That's just the truth. You're not killing anyone, you're not evil, obviously," I could hear his exageration in his voice as he said 'evil.'

I laughed slightly, "Obviously."

It had been a few moments after that that one of us talked again.

"You called to talk to Nessie, I guess," Seth stated.

"Yeah, but it was great talking to you," I thanked him as he handed the phone to Nessie, "Hey baby girl, do you know who I am?" I asked her.

She didn't speak, but gurgled a bit.

"I'm your real mommy," I said, "I was with your daddy before I had you."

"Mommy?" her voice went higher at the end of the statement, "Ah miss you."

"Really sweety?" I asked.

"Yah. Udder Mommies ah nice, but dey ahn't mah weal mommy," Renesmee told me in her highpitched baby voice. She's always been a fast learner, I guess. 1 year old and she already knows how to almost say most words.

"I'm sorry sweety," I told her truthfully, "It's hard to explain. Do you know what daddy is?"

"Doggy!" she squeeked happily.

I laughed softly. Calling the werewolves dogs had always annoyed them before, but I guess they can't be that annoyed with a little girl who's the imprint of their second in comand.

"Yes, he's a werewolf," I told her, "But do you know why?"

"He kills bad guys who wanna kill me," she said matter-of-factly.

With a laugh, I continued, "Close, sweety, but he attacks vampires. Most vampires are bad, and they kill humand and drink their blood!"

"Dey da bad guys!" she told me.

"Yes, they are, but you see, there are a few vampires who are good vampires! They don't kill humans, ever! And they never drink human blood! They think that's bad!"

"Daddy said dat dose ones ah betta dan da udder ones, but dey still ahn't good."

"Your daddy hates all vampires sweety, but some are nice. Your mommy's first love was a vampire," I told her, "And he never once tried to kill me or harm me."

"Daddy told me about dat."

"That's good. Sweety, he probably didn't tell you that I am a vampire now though. And I never will kill someone!"

"But daddy said dey're bad!" she started as though she was going to cry.

"Shhh, sweetypie," I tried to calm her, "I know, I know. But if they didn't make me a vampire, I would have died!"

"Why?" she asked stubbornly. Taking after Jacob there, I guess.

"You're too young to understand. Your daddy would kill me for telling you all this anyway."

"I don' wantcha dead!" she said, suddenly really angry.

"No, no, he won't really kill me, he's just going to be even angrier at me," I tried to fix my mistake.

"Oh."

She yawned a huge yawn and I heard Seth in the background.

"Ness, tell her you have to take a nap and say byebye," he said to her.

Nessie did as she was told to, and Seth took the phone from her, talking to me one last time.

"Hey, sorry, but she's really tired. She needs some more sleep, and Jake would kill me if I let her stay up and talk to you when she's tired like this."

"Yeah, understandable. Tell her I love her, and I'm sorry."

"I will, bye," Seth said quickly before hanging up.

Instead of hanging up immediately, I sat there for a few seconds with the phone in my hand. When the dial tone started, I realized that I should hang up, and did so.

_**4 months after change:**_

After four months, I realized something. Why hadn't I asked them why we hadn't moved away to Alaska or somewhere? Alice answered me when I wondered aloud to her.

"No one other than the dogs and their families know that we're here. It's safe with them. They can't tell on us unless they want to break the treaty, and then we can attack them," she said in her quick and highpitched, pixi-like voice.

"But two of those family members, at least, are children. Young children, can you trust them to not tell?" I asked her. She knew I meant Renesmee as one of the two children that I mentioned.

"They make sure the kids know the danger. They're good people, or would be, if they weren't always calling us bloodsuckers and all those names..." Alice started rambling hyperly, "Those dogs have no right! No offense, but I can't see how you could love that dog!! He stinks!! Literally! Ew, and just the thought of what you _did _with him makes me almost barf!!"

I stopped her talking at the end of the sentence by saying her name.

"Alice," I said it warningly.

"What?" she whined with a pout and puppydog eyes. A bit of not-yet-spiked hair fell infront of her face, and she shook her head to get it out of the way.

"One, you called them dogs. They hate being called dogs. And one of them, Seth, is awesome. He doesn't hate vampires. And don't talk about my past! That was over two years ago now!!"

"Oh yeah! the kid is a little over a year...by the way, Renesmee?"

"Yes! Esme and Renee!" I defended my daughters name against Alice's critique.

I wonder how life would have been different if Edward had stayed. If Jasper hadn't attacked me. If Jasper had at least bitten me and I had been changed instead. Or if I hadn't gone with Jacob. I would be sad, yeah, but I wouldn't have a kid I can never see again if I had married Mike Newton or Eric or Tyler instead. Or if Jake hadn't imprinted on Nessie. If...I know it's impossible, but...what if I had had the kid with Edward? She would have been raised by 5 loving vampires and a human, unless they changed me...and maybe Jake still would have imprinted on her. That would have saved the werewolves and Cullens from eternal, neverending, fighting.

But it didn't happen like that. It happened like this. Ugh. I hate this. It's just pure torture for me. What am I supposed to do?? There's no way I'll be completely happy now! I found myself close to sobs. I was close to sobbing, I found my mouth quivering just slightly, but Alice saw it.

"Bella?" she said, now completely serious and not whining or joking.

I didn't say a word. If I opened my mouth, I'd sob. My replacement was a nod.

"What's wrong?" She asked, placing her right hand on my back, rubbing circles lightly.

I got closer to sobbing, shaking, breathing shakily, and finally actually sobbing.

"Edward!" She said worriedly and urgently.

I felt the breeze of a vampire and then heard him.

"What's wrong?!" He asked her in a tone much like her own but lower and scared too.

"I don't know!" she strained.

"Shhh, Bella, love," Edward said, taking Alice's place and letting me lean against him and lay in to his chest, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said with a sorrowful voice. It would have sounded scratchy and sore if I was a human.

"Bella, tell me," he begged, when I looked up, his gold eyes were filled with sadness and hurt at my not telling him.

I couldn't hide it from him any longer...he was dazzleing me into telling him everything, "If I hadn't been with Jake, everything would have ended differently. I'd be happier."

"It's not your fault, love!" He tired to convince me.

"Yeah, it is," I said stubbornly.

"No, it's my fault," his voice mirrored mine, but maybe even more stubbornly.

I shook my head, not trusting my voice anymore as my lip quivered uncontrollably and the sting of what would have meant tears was at the corners of my eyes. Though I didn't need to, I blinked back tears that didn't exist, out of habit from my human life, when I cried often, and fell asleep like that almost every day.

Now, sleeping wouldn't be my escape...I finally understand Edwards hatred of at least that part of being a vampire.

"Bella, love, it's not your fault!" I could feel strain and pain in his voice as he tried convincing me that it wasn't my fault.

I didn't want him to feel pained over my pains. It would hurt me to see him hurt, and to know I was the cause of that hurt, but I needed to know. How could it be his fault? How did my love twist what happened to make my masochistic lion the fault behind my sadness and pain?

"How? How could it be your fault?" I asked him when I was certain I wouldn't sob instead of speak.

"Easy," he said, still stubborn, "I left you. If I had just stayed with you, none of this would have happened. None of it."

I didn't know how to deny it. He had left me, he was completely right about that, but it was I who made the real mistakes.

"I could have gone out with anyone, absolutely anyone, else. And nothing bad would have happened. I wouldn't have killed myself. Even another one of the wolves. If I had been with Seth, nothing bad would have happened," I kept mumbling.

"But can't you guys see the good part?" Alice interrupted our masochistic complaints about ourselves.

I hadn't even realized that she was still there. She had been sitting, out of our way, probably daydreaming, or contimplating whatever she voiced to us now.

"What good part?" I asked. I did know one good part, at least, but was it the one she meant? I was with Edward, but that was all.

"You're finally back where you belong! And this time you're a vampire!" Alice pointed out. Edward almost growled at her for saying that my being a vampire was a good thing, "Edward! It's what she wanted and now she gets what she wanted! That's a good thing at least!"

"You have one point there. But I also have Renemsee and a bunch of angry werewolves hating me," I pointed out that part.

"No wonder you two are soul mates! Two masochistic pessimists! You're SO lucky you have me, the optimist, to help you see the good!"

I rolled my eyes, and saw Edward rolling his in the shine off Alice's eyes. We both started laughing.

It's funny, how we can go from sad and sobbing to extremely happy in such a short time.

"And you're both moody too!" Alice said, as though she was reading my thoughts, "One minute it's all serious and sad, the next you're both happy and laughing!"

I smiled and laughed a bit more at that.

"Alice, I couldn't care less if Bella was a werewolf, honestly. She's _my _masochistic, pessimistic, moody, lamb, and I'll love her for eternity," Edward told her, being the hopeless romantic that he always is.

"And when I was human, I couldn't care less that he was a vampire and I wasn't, and now if he became a werewolf I wouldn't care either, 'cause he's _my _masochistic, pessimistic, moody, hopeless romantic, lion that I'll love for eternity."

Edward surprised me with a kiss, and I could feel the our mouths molding together and then, when his tongue begged for entrance to my mouth, I granted it.

"Oh gross! Do you guys see what I mean?!?! Now you're being all lusty and stuff! Ewwww! I don't need to see that!" Alice whined.

I looked up to glare at her for breaking our kiss, and when I did, I saw a smiling Jasper staring lovingly at Alice from behing. he poked her shoulder. As she jumped, Jasper caught her up in a bridal style hold and started carrying her up the stairs at a run.

"Never mind! Carry on!" Alice called out to us as Jasper carried her into their own room.

We looked at eachother for a moment before laughing. I am one for laughing with my eyes closed, so when I felt myself being pulled up in a bridal style hold, like the one Jasper used on Alice, I let out a little surprised sqeak before laughing more as I felt myself being carried to our room.

"We'll stop before we go too far, right?" I asked him, knowing that he didn't want to go that far until marriage...

Edward nodded, as I wondered...maybe, we should just elope or go to Las Vegas.

Before we could even get a into making out, Alice shrieked. A second later, our door burst open, and Edward and I both jumped, and he landed next to me, eyes wide.

"Isabella Marie Swan and Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!! NO WAY IN HELL ARE YOU ELOPING OR GOING LAS VEGAS STYLE ON ME! I AM GOING TO PLAN YOUR WEDDING AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT!" Alice shrieked at us, wagging her finger at us.

"Sorry," Edward and I mumbled in unison.

"You better be!" Alice said, before stalking out, and slamming the door behind her.

Edward and I quietly laughed, before getting back to our previous actions...

**_6 months after change:_**

"Family meeting!" Carlisle called in a normal, human, voice level. We could all hear it though, and rushed down the the living room, our normal meeting spot, over the last 6 months.

We all gathered quickly. Edward and I sitting thigh-to-thigh on the couch, only taking half of it, and Jasper with Alice on his lap on the other half. Emmett was sprawled across the other couch, arms draping over the arm rest and the back of the chair, legs draped over enough room for two people and feet crossed on the arm rest on the other side. Rose smacked him and he yelled out "ouch!" before he moved so Rose could fit with him. Esme was sitting on the love seat that Carlisle was standing in front of, like a lady.

"Yeah, Carlisle?" Emmett asked.

"Esme and I have talked, and we think it's best if we move," Carlisle said, "We've been here long enough that the wolves believe our story and that we have nothing to hide, and Bella has been forced to sneak around since her change."

No one objected. I, definitely, wouldn't because I am sort of getting sick of being so close to my friends and family and having to force them to believe that I'm dead, and not there. One time, I came so close to running into Mike in the forest, if my heart was beating when it happened, it wouldn't have been beating now. And he was talking about how sad almost everyone who hadn't moved to big cities was. Jessica and Lauren had moved, looking for careers in the modeling business, which was highly unlikely, not to be mean to either of them...

Emmett shrugged before saying, "Okay, where to?"

"For now, we'll be going back to Alaska."

"When?" Rosalie asked then.

"Now. We want to get everything packed quickly, and then just leave. No one needs to know anything," Carlisle explained.

We all nodded, or said 'okay' before splitting up and packing our rooms or the rest of the house.

**_7 months after change:_**

Now, in Alaska, we're sitting around, trying to figure out a new story, just in case we choose to move soon.

"Well, if people believe that Rosalie and I are twins, then we could say that Emmett and Bella are twins," Jasper put out.

"Then Edward and I were two kids adopted at seperate times, and we could say that Jasper and Rosalie were your brothers' kids, and that your brother died," Alice added to the idea.

"But Emmett's in the grade above me if we restart, since he would start as a sophmore, and I want to start in the same grade as Edward," I told Carlisle, who was sitting at the head of a table trying to organize the information in his brain.

"So I'll be the older bro, and you can be my little sis! And instead of our parents dying, they gave us up because they didn't have any money," Emmett offered a solution.

"And Edward can be Esme's very young cousin instead," Carlisle put in.

"So, Edward is Esme's cousin that came to live with us, I'm the adopted kid, Jazz and Rose are foster twins, and Em and Bella are foster siblings, and of course you two are married," Alice said, organizing the idea into a sentance.

"That works for me," I voiced my acceptance.

"Then we'll go with that. Now, let's figure out when you all joined us, and how long we were married for. Oh, and how old everyone is."

"You should both be 23, and Edward asked to move in with you a year after you got married, when he was 9, then you adopted me a year later, when we were both 10. Two years later, you signed up for being foster parents, so you could house Rose and Jazz, who's parents just died. Then, you were asked to house Em and Bella. That's how we all ended up together. And we could start dating and falling in love a little after we come. Or maybe Rose and Emmett fell in love at 15, then over the next two years, the other 4 of us fall in love." Alice voiced her ideas excitedly.

We didn't argue with her. That idea was perfect, and would work perfectly well, and we had no need to change it in any other way. Alice wasn't finished, though.

"Oh, and Bella, Edward, you're going to be married if you like it or not."

**_10 months after change:_**

Alice's wedding-arranging skills are amazing. And amazingly annoying. She had made Emmett become a priest, to keep that part all family, and had invited all their vampire friends, along with, without my permission, Jacob and Renesmee, with a note to bring as many of the wolves and their imprints as the want, as long as they could stay calm and keep an eye on their imprints. They were to have their own row near the front, right behind the Cullens and in front of the Denali Coven, the only other vegetarian vampire coven.

Behind them were the vampires that could control themselves around humans if they tried, and on the other side, she said the volturi, who insisted on coming, would be in the back, a long with other vampires who weren't as good as the vampires behind the Denali Coven at controling their thirst. She had everything, even a reception, planned out.

I had only had a minimum ability to control this day. Now, early in the morning, she was dressing me in a wedding dress, completely white and fluffy, and very beautiful. Old fashioned, which was perfect for Edward and I.

She did my hair, did my make up, and all around tortured me. I'm sure Edward was feeling the same, where-ever she had the boys keeping him hostage.

Finally, by the end of it, she would answer one or two of my questions.

"Who's here?" I asked first.

"The denali coven, some of the vampires that run alone around the U.S., and the volturi."

When she didn't say Renesmee or the wolves, I was worried.

"What about the wolves?" I asked, almost begging to know.

"Well, they haven't come yet," She said, biting her lip at looking at me as if she was begging me not to freak out.

I didn't freak out, I stayed calm, but she must have been able to tell how worried I was that my best friend, or old best friend, and daughter wouldn't make it to my wedding. It was my second, but it was just as important as the first.

A knock came on the door, and Alice asked who it was.

"Emmett," he said.

"What?" She asked. She hadn't let anyone but her, Esme, and Rosalie see my wedding dress, knowing that the boys may think of it and accidentally giving it away to Edward, not knowing how important it is not to, in her point of view.

"The wolves just showed up. it's their leader, the dog Bella was with, Renesmee, Seth, and another one," Emmett informed us both.

Inside, I was excited, but I wouldn't let them know exactly how excited I was, if I had a choice.

"Thanks! now go back to Edward, make sure he's ready! When everyone is seated, have Jazz come up and tell me, and set everyone else up.

"Okay," Emmett said. Then it was silent again as Alice worked on my final details.

Only a minute later, another knock came on the door.

"Alice, it's time," Jasper said, through the door.

"Block your mind from Edward. We'll be out in 3 seconds to give you some time to do it," Alice said. We walked at a human speed toward the door, and at exactly 3 seconds, she opened the door. I was led down the stairs by the two of them. Carlisle, who would be doing the honors of walking me down the isle, was waiting at the door, at the edge of the isle. he grabbed onto my hand, and Jasper and Alice opened the door in unison, as Esme started the music.

Quietly, Alice made her way down the isle with the basket of flowers, as the part-time flower girl and part time maid of honor/only bridesmaid. Jasper followed her, with the two rings, as the part time ring boy and the best man. At the top of the isle, next to Emmett, Edward stood, looking sort of dumbfounded. I smiled at my ability to dazzle the dazzler again, as Carlisle lead me up the isle, to him, and the ceremony began. When he reached the top of the isle, Esme went to her seat, and Carlisle followed as soon as possible.

I looked at Jake only once during the ceremony, to see his angry face, mirroring Sam and the werewolf that I've discovered is Jared's faces. Seth was smiling at me happily, not sad about anything, and Renesmee looked the same way. At least my daughter and best wolf-friend at the moment are happy. And at least my old best friend is happy too.

Renesmee looks very different. She'd grown, in the last almost-two-years. Her hair is the color of Jacobs, pure black, and is now longer, past her shoulders, and it's being held out of her beautiful face with pink barrets matching her pink dress. The dress is pale pink, but has a ribbon in the center, right where it becomes the skirt part, that's hot pink, and her barrets are all pale pink. Held in with a barret, a pink flower is on the left side, tucked under her brow. Her face is shaped like mine, with eyes the color of mine but a bit bigger, full lips a bit like Jacobs, and my nose. Her skin is a lot like Jacobs, but a shade or two lighter, taking in some of my paleness. She was smiling, and her mouth is full of shiny white teeth. She looks like a happy angel.

Before I knew it, it was my time to say 'I Do,' and soon after Edward and I got our first kiss as husband and wife. During the reception, I needed to say something to Jacob. After a dance, I got my chance. I found him standing in a corner with Sam and Jared, and an extremely sulking Seth. I caught a bit of the conversation before they realized I was aproaching them.

"Why can't I go dance? It's not like I'm gonna imprint on a vampire or anything!" Seth whined.

Someone elbowed him and he let out an 'oof.' It was Sam, and now three of the four wolves were staring at my angrily.

"Hey Bella!" Seth said, not following Sam's lead.

"Hey," I said back to him, smiling happily at his obvious disobediance against Sam. If he had been doing as Sam wanted, he'd probably not be here anyway.

"Mama!" Renemsee said.

"Nessie, shh," said Jacob, looking at her lovingly before turning to glare at me.

"Hey Renemsee, I love you baby," I told her, before looking at Jake with a 'what did I do?' look.

"I wove you too mama," Renesmee said sweetly.

I smiled. Her still loving me is all I could ask for.

"Bella," Jake said, still looking at me angrily.

"Look, Jake, can I talk to you? Without all of them?" I said, meaning the other wolves.

He looked at Sam for permission before nodding and putting Renemsee in Seth's arms. As we walked away, he said, "what?"

"I know, you hate me, but I'm sorry! I told you, it was this or death!" I begged him for forgiveness.

"I'd rather have you dead," mumbled Jake.

The comment angered me, "so you'd rather have me dead? Renemsee never knowing what happened? Do you even know why I was almost dead? The real reason why?" I snapped at him.

"No," was his ignorant response.

"Because of you! I tried to kill myself because I thought my life sucked! I had had two people I loved to death. One imprinted on my own child, the other had left me! And I couldn't even see my child without sobbing and thinking about how she's going to grow up with all the other imprints as her mommies, she didn't even need me!" I started, keeping my voice at a low level so only some vampires could hear it, "I had no one but Angela and other humans, all of the others didn't even really care, except maybe Ben! When I wanted to move back in, you didn't even let me finish talking!"

He looked sad enough there, broken from knowing that his ignorance could have been the cause to my being a vampire.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, too low for anyone else to hear.

I broke then too. I didn't want to see him so sad, even if I didn't love him. Renesmee deserves someone happy. "Look, you're not the reason I killed myself. I killed myself because I messed up everything."

"Sure, sure," Jacob said.

I remembered that Jacob always said that. Since the first time I met him, and decided to change the mood of the conversation, or try to.

"You love that word, don't you?" I asked him jokingly, and smile matching the tone of my voice on my face.

"What word?" He asked, confused.

"Sure! You LOVE the word sure!" I continued joking.

He laughed with me, before saying, "sure, sure."

"There you go again with the 'sure's'!" I said.

We laughed a bit more, until a werewolf rudely coughed from where they still stood.

I turned around to see Sam glaring at me and beckoning for Jacob. Jake sighed.

"I have to go. Bye," He said before running off, too quickly for me to say a word back.

I didn't have a chance to feel too sad, because someone wrapped their arms around me.

"Hello, Love. What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Nothing. I just sorta made ammends with Jake and Sam made him go back to the group," I told him. I don't believe in lying about something so small.

"Oh," he sighed, "Maybe I can fix that for you?" He flirted with me.

"After the party, definitely," I flirted, quietly, back.

**_11 months after change:_**

We had immediately moved to Alaska, and about a month ago, after our wedding, we decided to move to a small town in Wisconsin that they hadn't been to in over a century. It rained almost daily, almost as much as it did in Forks.

I had gotten new papers and information. Now, my real name is Bella, and we had kept with the plan we made in Alaska in every way. People already flirted with all of us who weren't 'together' and it was getting kind of annoying. Some girls reminded me of young Jessica's, Mike's, and Lauren's, but a few of them reminded me of Angela and Ben, being nice and kind, and mostly shy.

Nothing else had happened, except for Edward and I having sex, like I've wanted since before I was changed.

"This stuff had been easy for me the first time around," I told Edward, talking about the homework we had to do, which was already extremely easy.

"I know how you feel, love, but just think about it, we can now do whatever we want every night. No more worrying about sleep and food!" Edward pointed out the good points.

"You know what I want to do," I joked around, half serious though.

"Yes, yes I do," he said, as we walked into the school building, talking too low for humans to hear, "And we can do that as soon as we get home, if you like."

"I would like that," I sighed, as we went seperate ways to our first period class.

**a/n how did you like the end? good? amazing? awesomely amazing? or maybe this whole chapter has been amazingly suckish. tell me!**


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